Wow... quite a handful of stuff!

I was thinking... I would surely have a lot of things to blog, but when I'm now sitting before my monitor, everything's a blank!

Well, surely I can blog about how I mourned for my Computing grade for term one. OK it's like that. My Grades were FOOE, so if my Computing could go up one grade, I would have FOOD.

Come to think of it, there are surely lots of grade combinations which can form vocabulary words, like...

4 subjects:

FACE, FADE, FOOD, FEED, BEAD, BODE, CODE

3 subjects:

BED, ACE, FOE, CAB, COD, FEE, DOE

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Aww... can't think of anything else!

Let's talk about yesterday. I was playing a lot of computer games.

"Huh? I thought there's Chemistry test on Monday?!"

Anyway, yesterday night I was thinking about this question which was on my mind for quite a long time -- was King Saul treated unfairly? Why was God plotting everything against him?

Saul was the first King of the Israelite nation. There was once when he set aside the enemies' lifestock for a ceremonious sacrifice instead of killing them as God commanded. Ever since then everything was going against him. The Bible said that the Lord sent a "tormenting spirit" on Saul and caused Saul to rave about like a madman. Then there was Saul becoming jealous of David (he feared that David would wrench power from him) and other stuff. He died in a battle in the end.(All of the above can be found in 1 Samuel)

I was thinking, why did God sent that tormenting spirit in the first place? Was it not that tormenting spirit which made Saul jealous and frustrated and whatever...

Then I recalled the part of Apostle Paul's letter to the Corinthians where he said that he had been given a "thorn in his flesh, a messenger from Satan to keep him from getting puffed up". (2 Corinthians 12:7) Paul was a close friend (I chose to use this term) of God, yet he got that so-called "tormenting spirit" too! But the way he reacted was not frustration towards others; he sought help from God, who replied "My grace is all you need".

I concluded that God can send anything upon us (and we have no choice) anytime he wants to. However, where we end up with the things God sent upon us really depends on how we respond.

Many people think that when Paul mentioned that "thorn in the flesh" he meant some kind of disease or infirmities. I can only say that I believe that the "messenger from Satan" meant more than just some simple disease. I'm able to relate to that verse quite well because of personal experience.

I recalled the time when I actually had a "tormenting spirit" sent upon me as well during my Sec 4 prelim days (now I have not told anyone about this before, so don't be surprised you don't know about it). Whenever I pray or when I just began thinking about God, obscenities and vulgar words will charge into my mind (against my will, of course) like a flood. In short, my mind was always commiting "blasphemy" against my will.

For weeks, I really was thinking that these "sins of blasphemy" were too much for me to bear and I wanted to end my life more than once. I told no one, except telling my cell group leader that I kept on having "strange things" in my mind. For many times I cried out to God (alone in my bed) for deliverance from that. I came across that "Paul's thorn in the flesh" passage in that period of time, and I couldn't forget it until now. It was as if God was saying it directly into my heart, that "his grace was all I needed".

Truly, whatever God plans to happen to us, it's our reaction that determines our future. I can safely say that the incident has brought me closer to God. Oh, as for my prelims, I got 9 for L1R5. Blessed right?

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Today was the Chem test. Yeah, I was actually very prepared for it (especially the Halogeno-alkanes chapter) despite the heavy gaming yeaterday. All smlies!

To think that I was so dumb to forget the fact that ketones do not react with Tollen's reagent.

Arrgh! After that the immediate concern was Physics SPA. Everything was just fine, and I handed in my scripts thinking I'm the happiest guy in the room.

Just before my friend reminded me that I had to take the timing twice and obtain the mean (I took only one set of timings).

Arrgh!

Nvm. Haha Yulan said that one of her friends is now yearning to know God more... hmm...

In our process of knowing God more, we'll definitely go through a lot of doubts. My advice: Face them! There are people who may give you the impression that God wants you to think all the politically correct stuff, but I've learnt in the book "Purpose Driven Life" that God wants you to be honest with him. If you doubt, will he not see your heart and know about it anyway? But through the bouts with doubt and questioning we can really get to know God more.