10 years

It's been 10 years.

Finally, a chance to return home. After so long a wait.

Haste

Let things take their natural course and not try to rush it.

As much as I can't take all the waiting and guessing and rationalising. I feel I'm so much more reserved now, but maybe I'm doing just fine.

'sides, it's not even time for ME to make a decision yet.

I just need the constant reminder that it'll turn out wrong if I take shortcuts.

More listeners, more advisers, less wet blankets. That'll do for now :D

Damn it

Got craving for chocolate, after doing hours of research just on choc alone argh.

Nice legs song. Who can resist the legs ambiguity in the key, modulating between D Major and A Major and never really coming to a resolution. I Like!

Up

Watched UP. Came out of the theater thinking of everything else but balloons. Disillusionment, significance, decisions, friendships, life. Anything but balloons.

It's one of the films of late which once again reminded me that "good and bad" isn't exactly that clear cut; it's the decisions that we make at the moment that determine which side we take, and if need be, who survives.

There are times when I make decisions that, on retrospective, don't make any sense at all. Besides being appalled at myself I find myself wondering what if people judge me by those decisions. Most of the time they don't, actually, and I have to remind myself not to come too quickly to judgements about people as well, by only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

扯很远了。扯回来吧。

Basically I feel a lot for the old explorer guy (forgot his name) who gave his life for his achievement and vindication. I'm still not sure if I would call him bad person, though in any standard story his fate would be the "just deserts" of any typical villain. Was he so lost in his pursuit that he got twisted in the process? Was it his momentary loss of composure that drew a fault line between him and the heroes of the story (and his many past victims)?

In the end is it even worth it, though? Giving so much for an achievement which only a small slice of the future generations will remember. And losing so much more in the process.

I am happy for our heroes who found joy in life together, but the lessons etched more deeply in my heart will be from the old explorer, who died without vindication.